Book 16 for 2024: “Digging to America”, Anne Tyler


This book details the lives and relationships between two families, one native to the US and the other Iranian immigrants. When the young couple in each family adopt a Korean baby, their lives become intertwined. Every year on the anniversary of the arrival of the babies, they take turns hosting an Arrival Party. Two of the grandparents, one on each side, one male and one female, find their lives linked in unexpected ways. The book explores what it means to be an immigrant, how the native born sometimes view those from another country, and questions to what extent a person’s character is due to culture and what is simply the way that person remains regardless of culture. While a serious exploration of culture, family relationships, friendship, and cultural adaption, the book is also quite funny. I found myself sometimes laughing out loud and at other times feeling sad. I also found myself thinking more about my own personality and its development.

Red Roses


He’s very good at wooing:

gifts–chocolate cherries,

red roses, delicate lingerie,

I love you.

He wears his mask well,

keeps calm, a handsome spider,

weaving a silken web.

She laughs, tells her friends

just how very special she’s

sure he is.

He wears this mask for months,

finds them the perfect apartment,

swimming pool, gym, marble,

granite, luxury appliances.

She’s sure he loves her:

the gifts, the perfect apartment,

fancy restaurants, luxury weekends.

She’s late, heavy traffic, an

emergency at work. He

screams, wants to know

why; no explanation matters.

He hits her for the first time, her

torso, knocks her down.

Tomorrow 24 red roses

arrive at work. He begs

forgiveness. She’s sure

he’s sorry; it won’t happen

again.

Two months later, she’s

late again. Real reasons he

does not want to hear. He

screams, he hits, he knocks

her down.

She dreads red roses.

Note: This is part of my writing a poem per day for National Poetry Month. Regarding this poem, 34% of female homicides are women who have been killed by intimate male partners. Often when women kill a man attacking them, they are convicted of murder even when trying to defend themselves.

Book 14 for 2024: “The Invisible Hour”, Alice Hoffman


This is a book for those who believe in the power of books to transform life, who are fans of Alice Hoffman, and who like time travel. It also about how a charismatic man can ruin the lives of many, especially women, by controlling everything around him through fear and coercion. In his Community books and contact with the rest of the world are banned. Mia is a young woman who sneaks into a local library and finds Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter”. She realizes the life she is living in the Community is like the lives in the book. Through this book she manages to attain the courage to escape such a man, the man who destroyed her mother, Ivy. She makes her way back in time to the period in the book, has a love affair with Hawthorne, and finally escapes the horrible man who tracks her everywhere she goes.

Book 10 for 2024: “The Furies: Women, Vengeance, and Justice”, Elizabeth Flock


This book raises these questions: Can women gain true safety and equality without violence? Can we end misogyny without fighting back?

The book details the stories of three women, one from Alabama, a woman from northern India, and a Kurdish fighter in northern Syria. All use a form of violence to overcome abuse and mistreatment they have experienced and see other women experiencing. The author personally interviewed all of these women and others close to them and visited them repeatedly.

The first is Brittany Smith, who shot the man who had raped her and was trying to kill her brother. Her story details how Stand Your Ground laws work for men, but often fail for women, especially in areas of the US South where men are protected by their beliefs in a male Code of Honor.

The second is the story of Angoori Dahariya, a Dalit woman, from Uttar Pradesh, India. Fed up, she creates a group called the Green Gang (they wear green saris) dedicated to defending poor, under caste, female victims of abuse. Note: Dalit refers to the lowest caste.

The third is the story of Cicek Mustafa Zibo, a Kurdish fighter in the female militia that fought ISIS in northern Syria. She and many others follow the teachings of Ocalan, a Kurdish leader imprisoned by the Turks for leading the Kurdish militia who for years have fought the Turks for independence. He teaches equality between men and women and women’s rights, which is anti the general cultural beliefs in this area of the world. Note: Ocalan is labeled a terrorist by many.

Eye Drama


Kohl

Kajal

Sormeh

Mebari

Ancient names for eyeliner

still in use today.

Kohl-Arabic

Kajal-South Asian

Ithmid-the purest kohl

made from galena

Surma-powered kohl in Urdu, Bengali

Sormeh-loose power preferred by Persians

Tiro-Nigerian

Mebari-red eyeliner, Japanese

Nefertiti used it.

Today the Worso and Wodaabe

African men use it.

Where women must veil themselves

the eyes are everything.

Bedouins use it for protection

from the desert sun.

In defiance find Cat Eyes

in Chola culture.

In Kerala Kathakali

dancers use it.

Geishas in Kyoto use red.

Find influencers on TikTok

Instragram, they will

teach you how.

Note: The above poem was inspired by my most recent read:

“Eyeliner A Cultural History”, Zahra Hankir. Hankir is a Lebanese journalist whose history of eyeliner throughout the world informs the reader about places and people and customs many never heard of or know about.

Books 3-5 for 2024: “Happening”, “The Young Man”, “Simple Passion”, Annie Ernaux


In the last few days, I’ve read three books by Annie Ernaux who won the Nobel Prize for literature in 2022. Although she is a major writer in France, I had never previously heard of her. Since the local library possessed none of her books, I drove to Claremont and checked out all of her books that were available. The publication dates range from 1974 to 2022.

Most of her books defy categorization. The librarian helped me find them because some were in fiction and some nonfiction. From just reading them, it is impossible to determine whether what I’m reading is real or imaginary or a combination. She writes about women’s lives mostly and issues that only women experience.

“The Young Man”, copyright 2022, tells a detailed account of a love affair between a young male student and a 50 something woman, thirty years older than he. They meet on weekends often at his apartment, make fervent love, visit sidewalk cafes, wander. The narrator notes that people sometimes look askance at them in a way they never view an older man and a younger woman. She finds love making helps her write, “Often I have made love to force myself to write.” At the end of the book are photos of Ernaux over the years (she was born in 1940) and a detailed biography.

Next I read “The Happening”, (2001) a detailed account of a young female student seeking an abortion when it was illegal in France. She manages to hide her state from most people including her parents. She finally finds an elderly nurse, but later experiences complications and ends up in the hospital where a young doctor, who thinks she is just some poor woman off the street, treats her badly. When he discovers she is a university student, he finds her and apologizes. It seems mistreating the poor is okay but not someone from his own class status.

Then I read “Simple Passion” (1991), a short (64 pages) detailed account an illicit love affair between a young, married man from Eastern Europe and the narrator. The telling part of this story is the narrator’s (the author?) obsession with this man she calls A. She waits for his calls 24/7. She thinks about him every waking moment and dreams about him at night. I kept thinking of myself and many women I know who have become obsessed with some man to their own detriment.

A a writer, I find her work totally fascinating in its extreme courage. She writes in detail about experiences few would dare to even talk about, but many experience and keep silent. Much of it is autobiographical, an even great demonstration of bravery. Who dares tell the truth of many of our own experiences? Very few of us.

Book Two of 2024: “Jezebel”, Megan Barnard


As a woman whose view of most women in the Bible remains nuanced, I could not resist a purchase when I saw this on the shelf at a bookstore. For centuries, she’s been vilified as a harlot, a temptress, both descriptors seen as negative by many societies even in these freer, modern times.

This novel by Megan Barnard is first person Jezebel, beginning with what she has been told about her birth and family. Then she describes her luxurious upbringing in Tyre, her forced marriage to Ahab while Ahab’s father is still alive and king of Israel. She begs her father not to force her to marry Ahab. Her father wants an alliance with Israel, which at that time was considerably less wealthy, quite backward, and more warlike than Tyre. She and Ahab have never even met when she arrives as a teenager to be his wife. To make it more difficult initially Ahab mostly ignores her, preferring other women in the harem. One issue is their differences in religion, she being a follower of Astarte while he and Israel are followers of Yaweh. She is used to religious tolerance, thinks people should be free to follow whatever religion works for them. The Israelis go to war over religion, demand adherence to their god.

Throughout she laments the plight of women, their lack of power and self determination. She notes that only prominent men are remembered, written about, not women regardless of their status, intellect, and influence. She remains steadfast in her determination to be remembered, to be written about even to the point where she engages in devious and sometimes cruel behavior to accomplish her goals. I find it noteworthy how effective this turned out to be; she is remembered, immortal, whereas kinder, gentler women are mostly forgotten.

One Book a Week-52: “Small Things Like These”, Claire Keegan


This book was short listed for the Booker Prize in 2022. It is short (116 pages) and simply written. It illustrates the life of a small businessman in Ireland who delivers coal for heating to both homes and businesses. One of his customers is the local convent which houses young, unwed, pregnant women and their babies. To make money for the convent these young women are forced to do laundry under dire circumstances. While delivering coal one day, he discovers something that disturbs him so much, it changes his life.

The book is dedicated to the women and children who suffered in these Magdalen laundries. The last of these horrible places was not shut down until 1996. Estimates as to the number of young women subjugated to forced labor varies between 10,000 to 30,000. The number of women and babies who died in these places is unknown.

Note: At the beginning of 2023, I created a goal of reading at least one book per week. I am slightly ahead since the above is no. 52. I probably will get to at least 54 because nearly finished with another book. Now I have to decide whether to continues this goal into 2024.

At the Coffee Shop–Part One


I did not know we were coming here.

I say, “I didn’t bring any money.”

He says, “That’s what they all say.”

I’m shocked, speechless.

Does he think women just want

a man’s money? What?

It’s too late to cancel my coffee order.

I wish I’d turned around, walked out,

walked home.

It’s only two miles.

One Book a Week-40: “Wifedom”, Anna Funder


I found this new non-fiction book both fascinating and disturbing. Like Funder, I’ve always considered George Orwell (not his real name) a great writer and appreciate his insights into the methods used to gain power and control people plus the clever ways those who wield power draw masses under their influence.

After reading several biographies of Orwell, Funder began to wonder about his wife whom these authors barely mention. What Funder discovers is both enlightening and dismaying. Did Orwell love her or just use her as an editor and fancy typist? Did he even like women or just use them? Would “Animal Farm” and “1984” even have been written without her help? The subtitle of Funder’s work is “Mrs. Orwell’s Invisible Life”. Her real name was Eileen O’Shaughnessy. She married him in 1936.

What does it mean to be a writer” What does it mean to be a writer’s wife?

In many ways this work is a tribute to the unrecognized contributions of women though out time and everywhere.

Note: While reading about Orwell and his wife and family, the reader also learns about what it was like to live in the middle of nowhere in the English countryside without adequate heat and even sometimes a lack of food. It also details Orwell’s stay in Spain during the Spanish Civil War and his travels to France as a journalist toward end of WWII. He also suffered from TB about which he continually lied to everyone.